


Tail Or No Tail

by miltonicsimile



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aquariums, Art, Feelings Realization, JunHao - Freeform, Kinda, Kissing, M/M, Magical Realism, MerMay, Mermaids, Modeling, Muses, Painting, artist!minghao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 01:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18955249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miltonicsimile/pseuds/miltonicsimile
Summary: On a field trip to an aquarium, Minghao finds the muse he didn't know he was looking for in the form of a beautiful boy with the tail of a fish.





	Tail Or No Tail

**Author's Note:**

> lol apparently i write junhao now

Minghao doesn’t want to admit how amazed he is by the aquarium, but if he’s being honest, it’s breathtaking. Every tank and room and body of water has something new, something to explore and see. Though he grew up in Haicheng,  _sea city –_ Minghao has never experienced anything quite like this before.

Perhaps it is simply the quantity of marine life. He’s never been to an aquarium let alone a facility of this sorts. It seems he could walk for hours and hours and never tire of watching the fish and other ocean creatures swim in the tanks around him. He likes the cool dark tunnels that smell damp and salty, wherein the low light he can see tiny bioluminescent fish dart by.

“Come on,” one of his classmates says to him, coming up from behind, “there’s going to be an underwater show in five minutes. We got to hurry,” she tells him, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket and dragging him along.

“What kind of show?” He asks because he doesn’t remember their professor saying anything about a show. Though, he was a bit distracted with the crowd and all the displays when they had met earlier in the morning before splitting off to explore.

They head from the cool dark tunnels to a more brightly lit area, but still below ground. All around them are the tall glass walls with fish and even a few stingray swimming by in the bluest blue water. They swirl by in the water and through the coral and rock that climbs higher than Minghao can see.

She throws him a mischievous grin before saying, “you’ll just have to wait and see. You’ll like it, I promise.”

They make it a bit further until they see a small seated area and a standing crowd. They’re all looking into the tanks but seem to be waiting. Though it’s a weekday, and he’s here with his intro to marine biology class, (the most interesting of required science options for his arts degree), he spots several families with little kids who seem entirely too excited about this show.

He’s dragged towards a few more of his classmates, while looking around, still trying to see what kind of event this is. Finally, in front of one of the tanks, he spots a sign. It reads:  _Join us daily at 11:30 am for a special viewing of the rarest of all sea creatures_!

Minghao checks his watch. They’re right on time. The show should be starting.

“Good morning everyone,” a young woman says, the words drawing attention with her lilting accent. She goes and stands in front of one of the tanks, smiling broadly. She is surprisingly foreign, her blue eyes stark against the tan of her skin. “As you can guess, I am not from here. I came here to study, and during my time here I have discovered one of the greatest treasures here in Hong Kong,” she pauses for effect, looking out at the audience.

Minghao lifts a brow, intrigued. He still doesn’t know what kind of show this is, but he has yet to be disappointed over anything here yet.

“These creatures have lore around the world, and here in China, you know these creatures as things of wonder,” she says, and everyone is glancing behind her, trying to see what will appear in the water. “these creatures of beauty are said to have tears that turn to pearls. They are both creatures surrounded by both fascination and fear for they are an anomaly, neither fish nor-” before she can finish her sentence, the first one appears, swimming down from above, earning a collective gasp from the crowd, Minghao included. “ _human_.”

After the first one appears, a girl with long dark hair that dances around her in the water and a long shimmering green tail, more follow. They are beautiful and graceful, swimming around the tank in ways that remind Minghao of dancing, smooth and powerful, but carefree. They are stunning and have him shaking his head, turning to his classmate, muttering, “mermaids, you dragged me here for  _mermaids_!”

She chuckles, not bothering to glance up at him, instead just pointing beside them and saying, “there are mer _men_ , too!”

Minghao looks to where she is pointing, and eyes widening at the sight.

Behind the glass wall, floating in the water, tail flickering side to side is a merman looking straight at him. He is beautiful, with long muscled bronze skin and hair nearly the same colour, floating around his head like a halo. His tail is the blue of the ocean after a storm and it reflects the low light like a thousand precious gems.

They lock eyes for a moment, and Minghao feels his heart stop. The merman’s face is handsome too, with a strong jaw and puffy lips and something so enthralling Minghao cannot look away.

But the moment is over quickly. The merman waves a hand at them and flashes a quick mischievous smile before darting off in the water, swirling past a mermaid with shorter red hair, releasing a trail of bubbles as he goes by laughing.

“You good?”

Minghao glances back at his classmate. “Yeah, of course. I was just a bit taken aback. They’re lovely, I’ve never seen anything like this before,” he admits.

“You do realize they’re just actors, right? Trained obviously, but wearing fake tails and stuff?” His professor teases, joining them.

Minghao flushes. He had been so caught up in the show and the initial surprise of it being about mermaids, that he hadn’t even been considering his words and how fantastical they had sounded. Not exactly academic, which was the purpose of the trip. “Yeah, of course, I just mean, it’s a cool show for the kids?”

His professor laughs, “I don’t know, are you telling me or asking?” She smiles at him, then looks back at the show of swimming mermaids around them. “I would say they’re a treat for anyone, including me. Reminds us of the magic in the waters, of how much of the oceans remain unexplored.”

Minghao nods, grateful for her understanding and her insight. “You’re right. It’s a bit humbling, even if they are aren’t real.”

They continue to watch the show for another fifteen minutes, mermaids and mermen swimming past playfully and doing a few prepared tricks and routines. The children in the audience squeal in delight when one of the mermaids comes close to class to smile and wave, only to swim away teasingly.

The whole time though, as his classmates and professor chat away, all Minghao can do is watch the one merman in the water. He’s graceful and playful and a few times comes up behind the mermaids and tugs on their hair and then darts away before they can catch him.

He’s childish, Minghao realizes, but there’s something more. The way he moves in some of the choreographed routines is utterly entrancing. He has such control his movements and such elegance to them. It’s unlike anything Minghao has ever seen, and as an artist, he has one urge: try to capture it.

He pulls out his camera from his bag and points it at the tank, zooming in, trying to wait for the right moments where the lighting is right. He snaps a few shots of the general scene, a few of the mermaids interacting, then turns his focus on the merman.

Minghao isn’t sure how long the show will last for, he cannot imagine how tiring the swimming must be for the performers who he notices disappear intermittently to go to the surface for air. There’s enough of them though it doesn’t interrupt or disrupt the magic and overall effect of the show. Still, he knows they cannot do this forever.

He puts away his camera and pulls out his sketchpad. He does a few quick sketches, capturing different movements, different positions of the merman in the water. All he can think about his trying to render this beauty into art, and briefly considers how perfect watercolours would be in this.

Too soon though, the young foreign woman is heading back to the front, smiling again. She had been walking around and talking with people in her slow and careful mandarin, laughing with the kids and taking a few photos for families.

“Thank you everyone for coming out to see our rarest creatures,” she says as the mermaids behind her begin to wave before returning to the surface. “they always are most playful when they have an audience,” she laughs at this as one of the lingering mermaids comes up to the glass behind her and blows a kiss, making the girl blush. Minghao wonders if there’s something more to it, considering the lovely shade of pink she blushes. “but we must say goodbye to them for another day. Please come and join us for another show next time you visit!”

Everyone claps and a few of the kids wave up at the disappearing mermaids.

“Aren’t you glad you came?” His classmate asks him as they file out into another room and exhibit. There’s a massive cylindrical tank in the centre on the room where fish swirl about and Minghao has to crane his neck up to see them all.

“Yeah,” Minghao admits, putting his sketchpad away. His camera is better suited to capturing beautiful sights like these. “I really am.”

“How long are you staying for? I have to head back pretty quick for class.”

Minghao honestly hadn’t planned on enjoying their field trip so much but has no other plans for the day so he just shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s amazing here, I might stick around all afternoon.”

She nods along, leading him back to the main building. They pass through several more exhibits, each as beautiful as the last. Finally, when they’re in the main area she sighs. “Well, I have to get going but you should probably eat something if you’re staying. The food court area is over there,” she points towards another area of the facility, the entrance surrounded by rocks and fake seaweed and bubbles that climb to the ceiling.

“Good idea, thanks.”

“I’ll see you in class!” She says with a smile and wave.

He nods, sad to see his company leaving. “Of course, see you then.”

And with that, she’s gone, disappeared into the crowd like one fish amongst a massive school.

It is midday, so the food vendors and the surrounding area are crowded and busy. But he is hungry, so Minghao resigns and picks one to stand in line for.

He pulls out his phone, checking his notifications while the line moves slowly.

Behind him, someone says something in Cantonese, but he blocks it out, scrolling through Instagram. But then there’s a cough, and the same voice tries again.

“Hey! It’s you!” the cheerful voice says in Mandarin, tapping Minghao’s shoulder.

He turns, surprised, brow lifted in confusion.

Behind him in line, the  _merman_  is grinning at him toothily.

Minghao’s eyes widen.

He’s taller than Minghao and broader. He’s dressed in jeans hugging long legs and a white button-down shirt and Minghao cannot help but notice how he’s neglected to do up the top four, displaying way more chest than should be allowed. His eyes though are softer up close and have a certain honesty to them that’s inviting.

“You recognize me, right?” The merman (out of his costume so just man?) says, still grinning at him. He runs a slender hand through his still wet hair, which is parted now and pushed back. “I was in the show!”

Minghao nods, unable to find his voice or words. Of all the ways he had thought about the rest of his visit going, he had not considered this an option.

“Yeah, of course, you do,” the man says, waving a hand. “we had a  _moment_!”

That makes Minghao cough, “ _what_?”

“I mean, it’s kind of my job to create moments, it’s what makes the whole thing so special and keeps people coming back. But like, what we had? It was something, hey? I knew I got you good when you brought out your camera! And then started drawing! Do you mind showing me? My agent is always looking for new material to add to my portfolio.”

“Um,” Minghao manages, then glances ahead. “I have to order my food, one second.”

He is grateful to the momentary escape. His brain is whirling, trying to comprehend the situation at hand and how to navigate it. He is trying to just find a way to be casual and normal and not to focus on the man’s talk of their “moment” or how hot he is. Or how he obviously noticed and now recognized him. And wants to see his art.

His food is ready all too quickly, and when he’s handed it the other man looks at him and smiles, nodding his head toward the sitting area.

“Do you want to eat together?” he asks.

Minghao doesn’t even have an excuse to say no, so he just nods shyly, following the other man.

“I’m Wen Junhui by the way,” he introduces himself as they sit down. “I also go by Jun. Whatever works.”

“Xu Minghao,” he offers in response.

“So, Minghao,” Jun says after taking a massive bite of his hotdog, “what did you think of the show? Pretty great, huh?”

Pretty great is an understatement from what he saw, but he isn’t about to go and embarrass himself after already making a fool of himself in front of his professor.

“It was cool, yeah,” he says, offering a small smile. “I hadn’t realized what the show exactly was going in, and when that foreign girl started talking it still took me seeing a mermaid swimming by to realize what was going on.” He admits, taking a bite of his food.

“Oh, wow! No wonder you were so amazed,” Jun laughs in response. He is so animated, Minghao cannot help but watch the other man and his expressions. It’s charming, in a sweet earnest kind of way. “So, can I see some of the photos or drawings?” he asks after another bite.

Minghao bites his lip, pausing. He usually is fairly private with his raw stuff; likes to only show the final products he considers good enough for everyone else. He hasn’t even looked at the photos he’s taken, and he knows his sketches are rougher than usual because he did them standing.

“Sorry, I mean, you don’t have to,” Jun says quickly when he notes the hesitation. “that was really presumptuous of me, you don’t have to show me if you don’t want. I just thought I’d ask.”

“You said your agent is looking for new material?”

“Yeah, I’m an actor,” Jun says, “I mean, obviously I’m not super famous, but I have done some smaller television roles. I’ve been killed off like three times now on like crime shows, it’s pretty cool, no big deal. I only do the shows here when my schedule is empty.”

Minghao considers this. Jun certainly has the face and body of someone who could be a famous actor. Hell, he just likes sitting across from him and looking at his face now, staring at it on a screen would be a less weird excuse.

“I haven’t even looked at the photos yet,” he admits, pulling out his camera. “they may not be any good, like dark or blurry or have the reflection of the glass.”

“I won’t judge,”

Minghao sighs, turning on his camera and pulling up the last photo he took.

Jun gets up from his seat and goes behind him, one hand on Minghao’s chair, the other on his shoulder. He seems as excited and eager as Minghao is apprehensive.

“Oh, that’s wicked,” Jun breathes, breath hot against Minghao’s ear as they look at the first photo.

Caught in a carefree moment, Jun with his tail is swimming towards the surface. The light from above illuminates his bare top half, showing all the curves of his face and the muscles in his arms and torso. The bottom half is dark, almost a silhouette but with more colour of his tail and the reflecting scales. That alone makes a striking shot, but in the darkness of the bottom right corner, the glass of the tank reflects back at Minghao behind his camera. It’s the two of them together. It’s striking and haunting, showing the voyeuristic nature of the whole ordeal.

“Do you like it?” Minghao cannot help but ask.

“Yeah, you need to send me this. Let’s look at the others,”

They spend the next few minutes flicking through the photos. They’re mostly good, a few times the glare of the glass ruining the photo and not making it like the first one, but overall, Minghao is satisfied. He tries to hold back his blush and hopes Jun doesn’t comment on the fact that most of the photos are of him, and no one else.

“What about your drawings?” he asks when they’re done and Minghao has agreed to send him a few once he edits them. “Can we look at those, too?”

Minghao doesn’t think can refuse the other man and pulls out his notebook. At this point, Jun is practically leaning on him, he’s so eager to see.

“They’re just rough sketches,” he says opening to the page he left off on, “I just wanted to capture the body’s movements for reference mostly. I think watercolours or a larger more extensive study piece for like humanoid anatomy would be cool.”

“You’re really talented, you know that, right?”

Minghao glances at Jun, his head next to his own. He cannot help the blush that warms his cheeks nor the smile that creeps up and tugs at the corners of his mouth. “You think so?”

“Yeah, you should like go to school for this, you’re really talented,” he says earnestly, flipping through some of the other sketches.

That makes Minghao laugh and shake his head. “Well, you’ll be pleased to know that I am in art school,”

Jun’s face lights up, eyes widening. “Really? Oh well, keep up the great work. If you ever need a model, hit me up.”

“Are you serious?”

“What? Of course! You seem like a cool guy and great at what you do, I would love to be involved.”

Minghao considers this for a moment, being able to work with Jun. He would make a good model, he was already fantastic earlier in the water, and those were all candid shots. Minghao likes the idea, but he is also hyper-aware of the fact that Jun makes his palms sweat and his ears turn pink. There’s something about him that Minghao can’t quite place, he is striking to look at and has childlike awe and enthusiasm. He doesn’t know what it is, but it makes him want to create more art, to explore Jun the only way he knows how. Minghao wants to find out what it is about the other man that is so enthralling.

“Alright,” he agrees, handing the other boy his phone. “text me when you’re available and we’ll work something out.”

Jun eagerly takes it and adds himself as a contact, smiling. “Are you leaving now? Or are you still exploring?”

The question takes Minghao off guard and he blinks as he takes his phone back. “Uh, I was going to look around some more.”

“Mind if I join you? I don’t think I’ll ever tire of this place.”

“I don’t mind,” Minghao says, standing. “There’s a lot to see, all of it beautiful in a different way.”

Jun follows and stands too, smiling softly and tilting his head to the side slightly. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

They spend the rest of the afternoon chatting and exploring the rest of the exhibits. Minghao finds himself enjoying Jun’s company, learning about the facility and the other man himself. He learns that Jun is a year older than himself, from Shenzhen, and a Gemini (Minghao is unsure of what this exactly entails but Jun seems very passionate about this fact). He also plays the piano and does both Wu Shu and Kung Fu.

Minghao takes all this information and stores it in a newly opened folder in his brain labelled  _Junhui_ , in which tall, handsome, and kissable lips are already in. He likes listening to Jun talk, likes how passionate he is and how he can suddenly become shy when he realizes Minghao is watching. All of this too goes into the folder. He tells himself it’s for artistic reasons, and not because he has a bit of a crush.

“I’ve got to be leaving and catching my train,” Minghao tells him after a few hours. “I have enjoyed this though. Let me know when you’re free and can model for me, alright?”

“Trust me, I will,” Jun says, bumping his shoulder into Minghao’s. “It was really nice meeting you and everything else. I will be waiting for those photos!”

“I’ll get to them right away,”

Jun smiles earnestly at him a moment longer before his gaze drops to the ground, then flickers back up at him. He fidgets with his hands and bites his lip before finally taking a step back. “Yeah. So, bye I guess.”

Needless to say, Minghao spends his entire train ride home thinking about Jun’s stupid sweet smile. His only problem is he isn’t sure he wants to paint it or kiss it. Maybe both.

+

It’s a week later when Jun finally texts him saying he’s free for the day if they want to meet up. Minghao immediately replies inviting him to his apartment where he has a mini studio set up, not even considering the ones that school that are always crowded.

He spends a few minutes cleaning up his apartment and then a few more cleaning himself up. By the time he’s dressed up nice and realizing how foolish it is to be trying to look nice for his model when he’s going to be  _painting_ , the buzzer is announcing Jun’s arrival.

“Oh, hey, you look nice,” Jun says when he opens the door, which is enough for Minghao to justify his getting dressed up. “I didn’t know what to wear so…” he gestures largely at his ripped jeans and a black turtleneck beneath an oversized black jean jacket. A very Jun mannerism, Minghao notes.

“It’s fine,” Minghao waves off his worries, shutting the door behind him. “you’re going to be taking your clothes off anyway.”

Jun, who had been toeing off his shoes pauses and looks at him with wide eyes. “Uh, I’m going to need you to repeat that,” he says with a nervous chuckle.

Minghao laughs, heading towards his living room/studio. “What are you not that kind of model?” he teases, smirking at the older boy’s darting eyes. “I’m kidding don’t worry. I just need you to take off your top half.”

He brings Jun over to what he has been working on and shows the canvas he has sketched out a scene on in pencil already. It’s an ocean scene, obviously, with the foreground holding rocks with waves climbing up them, the tail of a mer already resting atop. There's only the outline of the body and head, which is where Jun will come in. The background holds land on either side, a ship off to the left, heading out to sea, illuminated by sunlight breaking through clouds.

“I know it doesn’t look like much yet, but with colour and detail it should be okay,” Minghao says, glancing at Jun’s furrowed brows.

“No, no! It looks good. I’m just surprised by the type of scene you choose.”

“What? You don’t think of yourself as a merman?” Minghao asks, smiling. He knew from the moment he saw Jun that day at the aquarium he wanted nothing more than to render this ethereal and fantastical creature in art. It’s what he deserves. “you make a damn good one to me.”

Jun lights up at this. “You think so?”

“Yeah, you’ve obviously inspired me.” He admits with a shrug. “Now, take your shirt off and go sit on that chair and look out the window please.”

He spends a solid two hours sketching before the lighting changes too much. For most of this time, he's managed to stay professional and not blush while staring at Jun’s very finely toned bare body. Most of the time. Finally, when his sketching is done, he gets up and stretches, satisfied.

“You did good,” he tells Jun, heading to the kitchen and getting him a glass of water. “have you done modelling like this before? Most on their first try just fidget and aren’t able to capture the emotion and hold it.”

“And I can?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Minghao nods handing him the water.

“This was my first-time doing art modelling,” Jun admits after he’s drained the glass, Minghao watching his Adam’s apple bob rhythmically. “but it wasn’t bad, though I must admit my ass is a bit sore from sitting.”

“When can you do it again?”

“Maybe again next week. I’m on the set for some indie movie in the next few days. I’m the main character’s older brother who gets murdered and spurs their entire push into finding meaning in life.”

Minghao shakes his head, taking back the empty glass. “You must be fantastic at dying,”

“Oh, trust me, I am,” Jun nods seriously, leaning against the counter. He’s still very much shirtless and Minghao is looking anywhere but at him, fearing the blush that will surely take over his face. “It’s like the main thing on my CV, and you know, directors love making the audience fall for the handsome guy just to rip him away.”

“Sounds like you’ve found your niche then,”

“I would like my niche to involve the main role, but yeah, I’m good at what I do,” Jun smiles awkwardly, looking down at his socked feet. “but what about you? Have you found your niche?”

Minghao shrugs, running a hand through his dark hair. It’s getting longer and shaggier than he’s ever had it, but he kind of likes it this way. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I like making art, and painting. But I haven’t found one thing or one area that I just stick to yet. I like exploring and trying new things.”

“Which this week is mermen?” Jun asks, teasing eyes glinting back at him.

He’s not sure, but Minghao senses there’s something more that question. He wants to shoot back that he’d be into trying _more_ than just painting mermen, but he doesn’t want to lose his model quite yet.

Instead, he lifts a brow and curls his lips into a half-smile. “And next week too? I would like to start painting then.”

“It’s a date,” Jun says.

+

Between classes and working on finishing the rest of the painting, Minghao finds himself with little free time. However, his art lets his mind drift to a certain tall man who smiles with both his lips and his eyes.

Minghao doesn’t hold any reservations about the other man, he knows he’s probably being foolish even in his admiration. At least he’s able to admit it goes beyond his art at this point, but maybe it will make his art better. He hopes something good will come out of it.

The next time Jun shows up he’s dripping wet from the rain.

“Don’t worry about it,” Minghao tells him when asked for a towel, “it works. You’re a merman, remember?”

He still throws Jun’s clothes in the dryer for him. When he comes back and finds the other man waiting, seated in the chair by the window wearing nothing but his distractingly tight black boxer briefs.

Minghao has to take a deep breath before going to his canvas. Today will be more challenging than usual he realizes.

“Hey, can you like run a hand through your hair and like muss it up, but make it look effortless and perfect,” Minghao says after taking a seat.

Jun gives lifts an eyebrow, confused but does what he’s told. “Does this look good?” he asks after playing with it for a minute, “it’s still wet.”

“Yeah, you look great. It looks great. For the painting, I mean,” Minghao rambles, feeling his cheeks heat. “just look out the window and keep your legs towards me and twist your body slightly so it’s looking out the window, like last time. Okay, that’s perfect. The lighting is actually amazing for this, I will try to work fast.”

“Perfection takes him,” Jun says softly, not moving from his position.

Minghao is already quick at work, dipping into his browns and yellows and blacks, trying to find the perfect soft gold for the skin and capture  _Junhui_  as he is. “Try to look both sad and angry. You’re a mercreature, you don’t like humans, but you’re still intrigued by them and they’re leaving. You’re feeling a lot of mixed emotions. It’s a forbidden interest, but you still can’t help but feel a loss as they leave.”

“You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?”

“I’ve got to have some sort of story to try to sell the painting with. When I told one of my profs I was doing this painting she said fantastical things like mythology do better with a story to help make the viewer understand and capture their hearts.”

Jun just hums, changing his expression to somehow match what Minghao needs. It’s perfect, and somehow, he’s still surprised, when by now he should realize Jun cannot disappoint him.

But soon, he’s no longer questioning Jun’s perfect understanding of him and is too caught up in his art. He’s careful with matching the lighting, the way Jun’s body curves and how the light from the stormy day outside bounces off his high points and leaves other parts dark. It’s a study of Jun’s body in its rawest form, and when Minghao gets to his face, well, he can only hope to do it justice.

“Hao,” Jun says quietly after a while, “can I itch my nose?”

The question brings Minghao back to the moment and he looks up and blinks at the other boy for a few seconds before understanding. He puts down his paintbrush. “Go for it,” he says, “the lighting is changing anyway, the sun coming out too much for me to do your face today anyways.”

“I’m not sure when I’ll be able to come next,” Jun tells him, standing up and rubbing the heel of his hand against his nose. “I’m doing a commercial and then a photoshoot to go with the ads in the next couple of days.”

“That’s okay, come whenever you can,”

Jun nods, flopping down on the couch. “My agent liked the photos you took of me at the aquarium by the way. She couldn’t believe you’re just a student and not like a famous photographer or anything.”

“That’s quite the compliment,” Minghao says, trying to hold back a smile. “tell her thank you.”

“You can tell her yourself; she wants to meet you. She thinks she can get you some jobs doing photography, that is if you’re interested. I told her I would ask you.”

The proposal takes Minghao aback and he has no immediate answer. “I don’t know…I do love photography, but I’ve never considered doing it as a job…I mean, like photoshoots? Is that what she’s suggesting? Because I don’t think that’s my style,” he says carefully, trying to find the words to explain. “I like taking photos of things that catch my eye and are beautiful. I like doing it organically, letting these situations just happen. I’m not really into going to a studio and having people pose in various positions if that makes any sense.”

Jun is smiling at him, hands clasped against his bare stomach. “Yeah, it makes sense. I’m not sure what she had in mind exactly, but I will pass on the message and let you know what she says.”

Minghao lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Okay, thank you.”

They let silence fall between them as Minghao begins to clean up his paints. It’s not quite awkward, because they have spent so much time together now in silence during the painting process, but it’s different, and they’re both aware of it.

“You know,” Jun says after a while, “you really are an artist.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, just the way you are, fundamentally.” He replies with a small smile. He’s still on the couch wearing just his underwear. “you see the world differently. You want to create. You don’t want to be trapped in a cage like a bird, you want to explore and learn and try them for yourself. I like it.”

Minghao pauses and looks at Jun,  _really_  looks at him, trying to understand how he found a boy like this in their messy world and how he has managed to end up on his couch practically naked in the least exciting way possible.

“Why are you so sweet?”

Jun’s smile widens and he shrugs, “Don’t know,” he says simply, “is it too much? Some people think it’s too much, but I really can’t help it.”

“No, I like it,” Minghao tells him honestly, “but don’t let it get you hurt.”

+

The final time Jun comes to sit for Minghao, they are both nervous.

It doesn’t make any sense. They know each other better than they ever have before. They have done this before. They should be more at ease than ever, used to the routine they have gotten into.

Still, when Jun walks through Minghao’s apartment, throwing his sweater off and onto the couch, they both are too quiet.

“Is the lighting right today?” Jun asks, getting into position. “I wasn’t sure if today would be a good day or-”

“Yeah, it’s good,” Minghao says, too quickly. He smiles apologetically for cutting Jun off. It’s awkward and he doesn’t know why, and he hates it. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I’m almost done anyway, just your face and then I’ll need to finish up the background a bit.”

Jun licks his lips, throwing him a nervous glance. “Okay. I will try to hold position then.”

Minghao can get caught up in his art, in Jun. He’s a beautiful man and capturing each curve from his cheekbone to his brow to the puffy curl of his lips is something that Minghao gets lost in quickly enough. There are certain lines around his eyes and the shape of his brow to memorize, and the longing and sadness in his eyes. It’s a lot. Jun is a lot.

At some point, the perfectionist in Minghao realizes he could have Jun sit for him for hours and they’d never be done. He has to step away. He’s done what he could. It’s good. In fact, it’s  _great_.

“Are you done?”

Minghao looks up from the painting. “I think so.” He says with a nod, standing up and taking a few steps back to gain a different perspective. “You, at least. I need to finish up the background around the merman, but it shouldn’t take long.”

Jun gets up and comes behind the canvas to look. “Hao, that’s…. wow.”

“I’m going to need a bit more feedback,” he teases, draping an arm around the other man’s shoulders. “what do you think?”

“It’s brilliant. Beautiful. I can’t believe that’s me,” he says, voice low. “the whole painting, I know it’s not done yet, but the whole thing is a lot darker than I imagined. Like, the sketch didn’t show how everything was stormy and the way the water and the clouds look is incredible. The way the sunlight is breaking through the clouds to illuminate the ship but also the front of the merman is so well done, really draws the viewer’s eye, makes you question the importance of it, you know? Like, it’s not just there for a pretty background, the light is touching it so it has to be significant.”

“Works well with my story, hey?”

“Definitely,” Jun agrees, glancing over at him. Their faces are so close they’re almost touching. “you’re stupid talented, you know that right?”

Minghao rolls his eyes but can’t stop his cheeks from heating. “You’re just saying that because I did a pretty painting of you,”

“Oh, so you agree I’m pretty?”

He groans. “Shut up, you know you’re pretty. That’s your damn job.”

Jun looks down but doesn’t pull away from Minghao’s arm. “Still, I like being told. By you, I mean.”

Minghao cannot stop that chuckle that comes out and pushes Jun away, bare chest and all. “You’re such a baby,” he says, shaking his head. He knows he’s blushing, the tips of his ears surely an undignified bright red.

“If it helps, I think you’re pretty too,” Jun offers, mouth pursed, repressing a smile. For the first time, Minghao considers that the other man might smile when he’s nervous. Jun smiles a lot. And his cheeks are definitely pinker now than when he was posing earlier.

The  _Junhui_  folder in his brain makes note of this all.

“I’m not pretty,” Minghao objects, standing straighter. “I’m  _handsome_.”

Jun steps towards him and reaches up and twirls a tendril of dark hair that has now grown to Minghao’s shoulder, around his finger. “Haohao, I don’t know how to tell this to you,” he says softly, locking eyes. “but you’re fucking pretty.”

They stare at each other for a long moment, as if it’s a challenge to see who will break first.

Minghao’s heartbeat is loud in his ears, his palms sweaty as he grips his paintbrush. He can’t look away; he’s been caught up in Jun for weeks now and he can’t get out. All his senses are telling him one thing: Junhui, Junhui,  _Junhui_.

His familiar smell, his gentle warm touch, his heavy, even breath against Minghao’s skin. Jun has become so familiar to him, his source for inspiration, for art. He’s beautiful and he’s too real, too much of an impossibility to ever be attainable, to ever be Minghao’s. Still, he wants to try. He wants to try over and over to create and capture Jun. He wants to try the only thing he knows how to do with Jun’s entire beautiful being, which is trying to do it justice through art.

Jun has become his muse, he realizes. What a cliché, he thinks briefly, before giving in and pressing his lips to Jun’s.

He drops his paintbrush to the floor, hands coming up to cup Jun’s face. He is so close, yet not close enough. Minghao wants to breathe Jun in and exhale him out in the next breath. He wants to know how every inch of Jun feels against him, he knows how he looks, but now he wants to  _feel_.

He gasps into the kiss when Jun’s hands find their way to Minghao’s hair and their hips connect. Again, his mind returns to the mantra of the other’s name.

Junhui, Junhui,  _Junhui_.

Jun's tongue finds a way into Minghao’s mouth. It’s tentative at first, then braver, getting a feel for the way it makes Minghao pant against him and pushes against him meaningfully.

Minghao didn’t allow himself to indulge in fantastical thinking of Jun and him doing things like this. He's too much of a realist. But he is sure that if he had, it would’ve been futile. Because he cannot imagine, despite being the artist, being creative enough to come up with how good Jun feels and tastes and  _is_.

Jun’s entire being is more than Minghao could have ever imagined, more than he can ever consider capturing and recreating and doing him justice in art. He knows already he will be spending the rest of his days chasing this impossible mission.

“Hao,” Jun breathes when they pull apart, foreheads resting against each other. They’re both panting, catching their breath, but Jun’s bare chest makes no show of hiding his wrecked state. “please say you like me more than just a model. I don’t think I could stand sitting for you again after that kiss and being nothing more to you,”

Minghao licks his swollen lips and looks into Jun’s dark eyes. He knows there’s no going back now. They both know it. “No, darling. You won’t be going anywhere. Tail or no tail,  _you’re my muse_.”

 “Actually, about that...”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/checkinsbitch)


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